


blame it on the alcohol

by theyellowumbrella



Category: Brooklyn nine-nine
Genre: 10 times fic, 2k words of drunk!jake, F/M, Pre-Relationship, completely stupid, texts, why did i even
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-20 00:41:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2408828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyellowumbrella/pseuds/theyellowumbrella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't wanna be just friends, I wanna kiss your neck</p><p>(or: 9 times jake drunk texts amy and the 1 time she drunk texts him)</p>
            </blockquote>





	blame it on the alcohol

**Author's Note:**

> if there are any mistakes it's because although I proofread this, it's un-betaed and google docs was annoying the hell out of me

**Jake Peralta, 18/03/12, 02:09 AM:** amyhhyy

 **Jake Peralta, 18/03/12, 02:13 AM:** amyyyyy get up

 **Amy Santiago, 18/03/12, 02:14 AM:** go to sleep, Peralta

 **Jake Peralta, 18/03/12, 02:16 AM:** your awkae!!

 **Amy Santiago, 18/03/12, 02:17 AM:** yes, thanks to you. go to sleep, we have work in 6 hours.

 **Jake Peralta, 18/03/12,** **02:17 AM:** fuck work

 **Jake Peralta, 18/03/12, 02:17 AM:** work sucks. come outttt

 **Amy Santiago, 18/03/12, 02:18 AM:** work does not suck, and no, I’m not coming out at almost 2:30 in the morning, and you’re insane if you think I am.

 **Jake Peralta, 18/03/12, 02:18 AM:** pleas comeee, itsz no funy withotu u

 **Amy Santiago, 18/03/12, 02:20 AM:** Jake, where are you?

 **Jake Peralta, 18/03/12, 02:21 AM:** ummmm teh goklde n hroshehoe beuszde my psartne,mtn

 **Amy Santiago, 18/03/12, 02:21 AM:** what? Jake I don’t know what you’re saying

 **Jake Peralta, 18/03/12, 02:22 AM:** the godlen  hrosehoe beside my oaprtment

 **Amy Santiago, 18/03/12, 02:25 AM:** I’m coming. I don’t know where you live but I google mapped it and I’ve got some directions. Stay inside and don’t drink anymore, I’ll be there soon.

 **Jake Peralta, 18/03/12, 02:26 AM:** ttannk you sntiago , i owe u 1

 **Amy Santiago, 18/03/12, 02:27 AM:** And don’t you forget it.

* * *

 

 **Jake Peralta, 09/08/12, 11:56 PM:** hehy santiagon g,

 **Jake Peralta, 09/08/12, 11:56 PM:** your pretttyyyyyy

 **Jake Peralta, 09/08/12, 11:56 PM:** sooo prety !! liek wowwb ph my god your so preyty and nice and funny like i no i pretned tha tnui dont like you tor somehtyin but i lisdk eyou a lot nad we ‘re clos ei gues

 **Amy Santiago, 09/08/12, 11:57 PM:** not again, Peralta

 **Jake Peralta, 09/08/12, 11:57 PM:** i liiiike you

 **Amy Santiago, 09/08/12, 11:58 PM:** i like you too, Jake

 **Jake Peralta, 09/08/12, 11:58 PM:** thankd ! your so ncie tyo me! your  a great detecitnve, did you nknow?

 **Amy Santiago, 09/08/12, 11:59 PM:** thank you, Peralta

 **Jake Peralta, 10/08/12, 12:00 AM:** ha itds mdignith, happy 10thn

 **Amy Santiago, 10/08/12, 12:00 AM:** happy midnight to you too, Jake. come on, go home. Work tomorrow.

 **Jake Peralta, 10/08/12, 12:01 AM:** oaky, fbut only 4 u

 **Jake Peralta, 10/08/12, 12:04 AM:** cna  you  call me  acab? iytried las thime but they didnt understnrad me so boyle tcalled fiorme but boyle s otu at a weidgng tongiht

 **Amy Santiago, 10/08/12, 12:05 AM:** Okay, I can do that. Where are you?

 **Jake Peralta, 10/08/12, 12:06 AM:** sma eplace as las time

 **Jake Peralta, 10/08/12, 12:11 AM:** wait , do you know wheere thst is ???

 **Amy Santiago, 10/08/12, 12:11 AM:** the golden horseshoe. the cab will be there soon, do you have money to pay for it?

 **Jake Peralta, 10/08/12, 12:12 AM:** yeahn, 9i think ig hagbe a couple bcuks lefrt and its enough tog et oy my apaprtment

 **Amy Santiago, 10/08/12, 12:12 AM:** good, I’ll see you tomorrow

* * *

 

 **Jake Peralta, 01/01/13, 03:28 AM:** AMmy! Happpyp neww yar!!

 **Amy Santiago, 01/01/13, 03:28 AM:** Happy new year, Peralta

 **Jake Peralta, 01/01/13, 03:29 AM:** rrosa gina and i ar epartyn at mine, come oer!

 **Amy Santiago, 01/01/13, 03:29 AM:** I think I’ll pass, peralta, but thanks for the invite. you should sleep soon.

 **Jake Peralta, 01/01/13, 03:30 AM:** pelase coem amy,l. I wan tyou here.

 **Amy Santiago, 01/01/13, 03:30 AM:** it’s late

 **Jake Peralta, 01/01/13, 03:31 AM:** i know

 **Jake Peralta, 01/01/13, 03:31 AM:** please come.

 **Amy Santiago, 01/01/13, 03:32 AM:** jake, it’s late.

 **Jake Peralta, 01/01/13, 03:32 AM:** whatevr/

 **Amy Santiago, 01/01/13, 03:32 AM:** it’s too late to come out, Jake

 **Jake Peralta, 01/01/13, 03:35 AM:** it’s rosa. come over already, he keeps whinign thst you won’t coem out. i’m less drunk thann him and it’s irritiatng as fucl. jsut come, amy. don’t overtihk itl.

 **Amy Santiago, 01/01/13, 03:36 AM:** i’m already in the car. Be there soon.

* * *

 

 **Jake Peralta, 23/04/13, 09:36 PM:** hhey. been drinkgin for a while. not totlay drukn yet, butni mIss you.

 **Amy Santiago, 23/04/13, 09:36 PM:** not tonight, Peralta. please not tonight

 **Jake Peralta, 24/04/13, 09:36 PM:** okay

* * *

 

 **Jake Peralta, 12/05/13, 12:54 AM:** hi im at the bar but i wish i was with you becaus your fun

 **Amy Santiago, 12/05/13, 12:54 AM:** you drunk text me too often

 **Jake Peralta, 12/05/13, 12:55 AM:** i know

 **Amy Santiago, 12/05/13, 12:55 AM:** why?

 **Jake Peralta, 12/05/13, 12:55 AM:** because you aslways repyl

 **Amy Santiago, 12/05/13, 12:55 AM:** so if I stop replying, you’ll stop drunk texting me?

 **Jake Peralta, 12/05/13, 12:56 AM:** dunno

 **Jake Peralta, 12/05/13, 12:56 AM:** pleas dont tr, id mis u 2 mcuh

* * *

 

 **Jake Peralta, 21/07/13, 04:19 AM:** AMYY!! ALL OIF MY HIGH SHCOOL FRIENDS R HEER AND THEY WNAN MEET YOU! COME DFOWN TO M AAPRTMENT WE WERE KICKE DOUTTA THE ABR !

 **Amy Santiago, 21/07/13, 04:24 AM:** what the fuck jake, it’s almost 4:30 in the morning. we have 4 fucking hours until work.

 **Jake Peralta, 21/07/13, 04:25 AM:** amyyyyy sorryyyyy

 **Jake Peralta, 21/07/13, 04:27 AM:** AHA you’re amy! i’m robert, one of jake’s friends from high school. the least drunk of the lot. i’ve only had like 2 beers. jake’s been talking nonstop about you. i’m sorry for the disturbance, go back to sleep! (sleeping emoji)

 **Amy Santiago, 21/07/13, 04:27 AM:** it’s fine, he’s always waking me up with drunk texts. seriously. half of the texts in our chat history is him being drunk.

 **** **Jake Peralta, 21/07/13, 04:28 AM:** well, i’m still sorry. jake says hi

 **Amy Santiago, 21/07/13, 04:28 AM:** tell him i said hi back, and that he needs to go to sleep right now or else I won’t bring him something for breakfast because I know he won’t remember, and he can get his own coffee

 **Jake Peralta, 21/07/13, 04:28 AM:** he’s getting into bed. you two seem close

 **Amy Santiago, 21/07/13, 04:29 AM:** not really, we’re just partners at work. he’s nice. he always means well. you know those people you just trust? he’s one of those people.

 **Jake Peralta, 21/07/13, 04:30 AM:** you seem so nice. do you mind if I add your number to my phone and text you tomorrow?

 **Amy Santiago, 21/07/13, 04:30 AM:** that would be nice. jake and I get out of work around 5:30, 6, so I should reply around then (smiley face emoji)

 **Jaka Peralta, 21/07/13, 04:31 AM:** that sounds great. talk tomorrow x

 **Amy Santiago, 21/07/13, 04:31 AM:** talk tomorrow x

* * *

 

 **Jake Peralta, 04/08/13, 01:19 AM:** I ehard you and robertt didnt worki out.,

 **Amy Santiago, 04/08/13, 01:20 AM:** you heard correct

 **Jake Peralta, 04/08/13, 01:20 AM:** id ask hwy but i aslready aks ed him ansd he saikd it was because yof tyalked abotu me to o  much

 **Amy Santiago, 04/08/13, 01:20 AM:** hardly

 **Jake Peralta, 04/08/13, 01:20 AM:** thats oaky, I tla kabout youu  alot too s it sokay.

 **Amy Santiago, 04/08/13, 01:21 AM:** thats nice, Jake. how drunk are you this time?

 **Jake Peralta, 04/08/13, 01:21 AM:** druuuhnk. charles invite ddk e out but in stayed fo r longr than him. can you coem togniht?

 **Amy Santiago, 04/08/13, 01:22 AM:** not tonight, I have to go into work early to work on the deluca case.

 **Jake Peralta, 04/08/14, 01:22 AM:** okay, thsts okay,., I’ll seey ou when I conme in forw ork tomorrlw.

 **Amy Santiago, 04/08/13, 01:22 AM:** i’ll see you tomorrow Jake

* * *

 

 **Jake Peralta, 01/01/14, 01:12 AM:** happy hapyop new yearsss

 **Amy Santiago, 01/01/14, 01:12 AM:** I’m feeling a sense of de ja vu here, Peralta.

 **Jake Peralta, 01/01/14, 01:13 AM:** you typye ain a funny wya. It’s cute.

 **Amy Santiago, 01/01/14, 01:13 AM:** what?

 **Jake Peralta, 01/01/14, 01:13 AM:** nothign.g,bbut i miss you, how’s yrou ngiht?

 **Amy Santiago, 01/01/14, 01:13 AM:** it’s good, Jake. hanging out with Kylie and some of her friends. it’s nice.

 **Jake Peralta, 01/01/14, 01:14 AM:** that’s godo. i’m ahpy your ahpyp. It’s nnice tyuour harpppy.

 **Amy Santiago, 01/01/14, 01:14 AM:** it’s nice you’re happy too.

 **Jake Peralta, 01/01/14, 01:14 AM:** your one fo ym best firend.s

 **Amy Santiago, 01/01/14, 01:15 AM:** same goes for you. Go to sleep, Peralta.

 **Jake Peralta, 01/01/14, 01:16 AM:** you always srsay tha.t

 **Amy Santiago, 01/01/14, 01:16 AM:** and you always do it

 **Jake Peralta, 01/01/14, 01:16 AM:** i dont wn an tgo to slepe, I wanna talky o uoi.

 **Amy Santiago, 01/01/14, 01:16 AM:** go to sleep, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? go to sleep. we’ll talk later.

 **Jake Peralta, 01/01/14, 01:16 AM:** for you.

 **Amy Santiago, 01/01/14, 01:17 AM:** some serious de ja vu here, Peralta.

* * *

 

 **Jake Peralta, 04/04/14, 03:29 AM:** I don;t wanna be ust frined,s I wanna kiss you rneck.

* * *

 

 **Amy Santiago, 02/10/14, 02:14 AM:** I msis you. Tedyd’s sutpid. GFcukign tedy.nWHat a stupid name. Tedhyd. I missd you a lot oh my gof dI wanan kis syou.

 **Jake Peralta, 02/10/14, 02:15 AM:** Amy Santiago, are you drunk?

 **Amy Santiago, 02/10/14, 02:15 AM:** Jsut a little.

 **Jake Peralta, 02/10/14, 02:15 AM:** I miss you too, Ames.

 **Amy Santiago, 02/10/14, 02:15 AM:** tha t s a nic encinmaem,. YTou’re so ncie. I liekky ou.

 **Jake Peralta, 02/10/14, 02:16 AM:** I like you too.

 **Amy Santiago, 02/10/14, 02:17 AM:** NO! i liem youy. Liek, I wanan eby uor girlfriend and kiss yp0u and go ond ates with you ad bu you presents and Idm otn. Il’m dating teddy. I dont’ lov ted,y. I loe you.

 **Jake Peralta, 02/10/14, 02:17 AM:** Holy shit. Did you just say you love me? You love me.

 **Amy Santiago, 02/10/14, 02:17 AM:** I loue you.

 **Jake Peralta, 02/10/14, 02:18 AM:** I’d say I love you too, Ames, but you’re drunk and you won’t remember it, so I’ll say it to you tomorrow at work.

 **Amy Santiago, 02/10/14, 02:18 AM:** pproably a godo ide.as

 **Jake Peralta, 02/10/14, 02:18 AM:** But me too, Ames. Me too.

 **Amy Santiago, 02/10/14, 02:19 AM:** Can you comer over?

 **Jake Peralta, 02/10/14, 02:19 AM:** Most definitely.

 **Jake Peralta, 02/10/14, 02:19 AM:** See, that’s the difference between us, Ames. It always took you a lot of coaxing to come over and see me, but it took me less than a minute to agree to come over and see you.

 **Amy Santiago, 02/10/14, 02:20 AM:** I hat eyou.

 **Jake Peralta, 02/10/14, 02:20 AM:** thought you loved me (winking emoji)

 **Amy Santiago, 02/10/14, 02:20 AM:** ahut up and coem oer alreayd.

 **Jake Peralta, 02/10/14, 02:21 AM:** already on my way

**Author's Note:**

> //title is from blame it (on the alcohol) by jamie foxx


End file.
